Reiko's Journal

2/1/2014

Well, It's been a while since I've gotten here, but I think I should start keeping a log for reflection and whatnot, since I think about too many things without ever getting an outlet to them.
Let's get started.


After my first day here, things were, at first, very lonely. I guess the worst part about being alone is that it reminds you a lot about things you've been hoping to move away from. I still can't really forgive myself for what happened before I died, not really knowing whether or not Yun-Seo was able to get out of the fire...I hated not really having people to take me mind off it all, so the arrival of others really made things...a lot easier for me.

I guess I should probably list what I think of everyone to kinda sum things up in an approachable manner.

• Valinea: At first, I was a bit annoyed with her taking over, since I was trying to get things into perspective in my own right, but I was able to talk to her about it and she let me take the role I was hoping to. I know it seems kinda desperate to have to ask someone...maybe I'm not that important to everyone else...but I really want to make up for what I wasn't able to do, and make sure I put forth an example of someone able to take care of the people she cares for. I was student council president, after all. Anyways, Val is pretty cool and really strong, though I think at some times she could loosen up. Then again, she was a knight, so I can understand where she's coming from.
  
• Routier: My first though about this girl: she is too pushy. I think there's a number of off things about her, so thus, it kinda drove me up the wall for a while, but now that she's training under Val, my questions are kinda subsided about her. I admit, she's pretty cute, and I wouldn't mind getting to ... do things... with her, but like... What am I saying? She's pretty ditzy at times and a bit aloof despite her claims of being a normal girl, but I think she has her heart in the right place and means well. I'm hoping she'll be able to keep things together.
  
• Illium: He's definitely an odd one, for sure. I don't really know what to make of him. He says he's an assassin, but more like, he speaks softly and carries a sharp knife. But I think he means well though. He does have a few quirks about him, but he seems like a genuinely chill guy, and I can dig that. He kinda reminds me of some of the gamers I used to hang out with, in the chill way, I mean.
  
• Shizue: I think...she's fallen for me a little too quickly. I mean, I don't have a problem with it, but...she was really easy to get a hold of. I like her though, she's cute and really cuddly. I understand, she's got her demons to face, and I'm glad to help her with it. I really hope the best for her, because I don't want anyone of us to stay sad or be too latched onto the past to be able to have a happy afterlife, for what it's worth here. On a side note, she likes to sleep...naked. She's pretty fluffy and she's really warm to sleep against, so I can't help but cuddle her when she's next to me. I think she needs to remember to put her clothes on though when she wakes up. Hehe...she's so silly...but I love that about her.
  
• Ymir: Ugh...some of the stuff this guy says is totally unnecessary. It kinda gets on my nerves when he says something and it snowballs into every other woman wailing on him when I've got things to do. I doubt he's a bad guy though, he's probably just very sarcastic or honest. So... I trust him enough.
  
• Sayo: I have no idea what's up with this girl. On one hand, she's incredibly cute, but on the other hand, she's like playing Oblivion sans patches. Really freaking buggy and unplayable. I don't know what to make of her. 
  
• Komali: At first, I used to get a bit annoyed with her, since she always called me Dog and whatnot, but lately, I feel like we're starting to trust each other a lot better and I'm helping her understand a bit of things. I kinda told her about love, which reminds me that that's definitely a thing here in this life. She kinda reminds me of some things I haven't been able to appreciate while I've been busy at planning things and getting stuff together... I do hope she can learn well with us, I appreciate all the thing she's been doing and hope she can pull together well with Illium.
  
•  Adelaide: *perverted gaze* ...err, what? I'm sorry, I shouldn't do that. I wonder what the deal is with her and Sylus?
  
• Lionel: I don't know how many holy crosses have been shoved up his ass but he needs to lay off talking smack to Illium. He may be a fancypants knight, but that doesn't give to divine right to be the flaccid dick of god. Geez.
  

I feel like I'm beginning to like this place...it's certainly a change of pace from the college life, but I can't let my guard down. I still have so many questions and things to think about...

2/10/2014


So much has happened, I can hardly believe it all! I mean, first of all, we managed to get the ship built, then it actually flew! Sure, it wasn't the most graceful voyage ever, but I'm glad we were all able to stick through with it.
Getting to the sanctuary was a bit of trouble as well, and then beating the gigantic upset in there...I still can't believe I went down -- that thing was brutal! But what can you do?
I'm glad though. We're making a lot of progress and we're all growing a lot closer.

The past week has been pretty hectic. I can see some people getting a bit on edge at times... I wish I really could help everyone, but it's a little difficult. My biggest concern of all was Routier, however.

I feel maybe a little guilty....kinda because my solution makes me look a little "greedy", if that's the way to put it. But, she really needed something....someone there. I really didn't want to do anything to help her without Shizue though. I love Shizue the most, that's why it's been so difficult to say anything without feeling like I'd ruin the status quo of the town. I really feel bad for her, that Routier, but I couldn't leave her around like that.

I don't know. I have kinda mixed feelings in the end, but I really try hard to hide it all. I won't question it that much...the chance to love more than one person wasn't really something I considered, so I just really do feel greedy right now. Maybe I'm not greedy intentionally, or it just looks that way. It's hard to tell anymore if I'm doing things for my own sanity or for the good of the town.

They're both really soft and cute...and they love to snuggle up to me. It really makes me feel like I mean something to everyone, and the warmth they provide me...


Anyways, I feel like I need to get some more things sorted out. Who knows when the next sanctuary will show up, or what kind of curveballs Trace is going to throw at us. I'm hoping we can hold on for longer.
7 pieces to go.

2/17/2014

Well, this week has been really chaotic. I've been a bit frustrated at everyone for a while, being tugged in all directions, (well, 2 directions) but things have been looking up lately. I've gotten a chance to bond a little more with everyone and finally get familiar with the newer faces around town.

The little incident with John, I do feel a bit sorry about that, and I apologized to him, but I still think trust is an issue. That's kind of a running thing as of late -- trust. But I doubt it'll stay that way forever. I have faith we'll all get our trust in line and live together peacefully.

Trace has been a little more present as of late. I've been scared of what happened since I heard a massive explosion the other day -- that was painful. Routier has been the concern of the town as of late and it's been a bit of a killjoy. I managed to help her out though what with the split personality becoming a problem. I'm hoping things with her become a lot more mellow... I like her, but she's still having issues with everyone and it's becoming taxing on the town. It's been making me doubt my former decision even more than before...

In other news, I think things are starting to get more mellow. We're having a little more fun with the bathhouse now that it's open and a little drink...well, little strong drink, helped lighten up the mood of things lately. I think that's been an issue. We all kinda needed a laugh.

Well, I think I've gotten better at making potions, lately, so hopefully I can have fun with that too <3

Hehe, anyways, I think that's all that's been on my mind lately. Hopefully it gets better!

2/24/2014


If I had one big regret, it'd be thinking that giving Routier what she wanted would help the town, but I feel like I haven't been able to do anything since -- no matter what -- there's constantly an issue with her. 
I snapped, and it's starting to become more obvious how frustrated I am with her alone. I can't stand her getting between me and Shizue, so nowadays it just feels like I'm playing a fake lover's game just to keep someone no one else likes sane -- and to little avail. The only thing stopping me from wishing her gone is my morality and desire to not be a royal asshole in general.

Much good my plan is doing me.

In another light, I've notice the town getting some nice momentum, and I'm looking forward to seeing things get built all the way up. I got to have a bit of fun time with Shizue with some potions... and then a few other nice things scattered about.

I'm sorry, I'm really scatterbrained right now... Maybe I'll have more to say when I've cooled off.

I love you Shizue...please don't leave me because of her...

3/3/2014

It's a little different for me to say something like this, but I feel like things have been a little...slow, despite the upcoming invasion. It kinda makes me a feel a bit somber and that there is a bit of a low going on. Shizue has been pretty out of it lately, being sick and all, and Routier hasn't been acting up -- which is good. I'm glad. It's just... different. Thank god she's getting so much better. I wish she would just lay off Shizue though, honestly. I just want Shizue to me and me only, and I'm sure Shizue would prefer not to have Routier on her too. I know, it sounds selfish, but really, that's kinda how things were suppose to be. Not that I hate her... I feel like the thing going between us is just purely sexual though. I find it hard to want to say romantic things to her -- maybe that's all. I'd prefer she not ask me to go on a date either...maybe when the time is right, I'll be much better.

I mean, granted, I had some fun times this week with potions and all that, but en another light, I feel like I haven't been too involved directly. I've been pretty caught up in planning and trying to reinforce the town. Dammit, we don't have enough power! Err... Um. I think I'm on the verge of figuring out how to get us electricity finally. I'll be glad, since I can finally get to work on throwing a computer together. I wonder if the internet works in this world? Nah. I'll have to throw together the internet myself. Jeez, that sounds like a lot of work...but with all the work I end up pulling along, it's not really surprising.

It's pretty interesting to know that this world gets weather. Once I had heard that was the case, I was a bit interested in how this world works (more so than before), considering it's been pretty dry for some time. I dunno, the thought of rain and storms in a place like this is fascinating. Also, meeting someone from Colorado is nice, though he didn't really help my feeling of being out of it. No one else is from my time, and it's frustrating... Ugh. I really wish I could find someone to relate to in that respect. It's fine though, I guess I can catch Shizue up with me, huh?

Anyways, I think that's enough rambling. I'll see if I can get some more turrets up...

3/17/2014

Things are adrift again. My mind has been wandering a lot lately as I've been doing not really anything noteworthy other than just sitting around, tossing ideas about in my head. I haven't had the inspiration to build things or even talk with people much... Wow, I've been really out of it.

I'm sorry. I feel like I'm being a bit of a downer not being around, but it's been difficult to bottle up some of my frustration lately...

Sometimes I wish things were as easy to fix as these little turrets I throw together.

You can't always invent the solution to your problems though.


What am I even saying...? Jeez...I'm so useless...

3/27/2014

I'm a little late on this, but...

Well, let's start things out. I was glad we were making progress on the talisman, with two pieces down, it feels like there's so much left to go to...though I'm hoping it holds out for longer, since who knows how long we'll have to the next time.

I'm pleased with how things have been going so far with the town, and it's been a lot more peaceful as of late. Though that doesn't really change how stressed I feel about the whole relationship thing. I can feel Shizue is still uncomfortable as ever about Rooty and there really isn't anything to do. If nothing changes, I'm eventually going to be left with nothing but the deft and direct choice.

Let's hope it doesn't get to that point.

4/14/2014

So it looks like we're here again. It's been quite some time since we all just kinda took some time to settle down and enjoy some of the peace. I'm glad we could...it's been driving me a bit insane having to deal with all my frustration. I feel like I went through more than a year's worth of stuff this week as opposed to the rest of the year...

That struggle area I went into... seeing Lindsey and hearing Yun-Seo's voice for once in forever... it was nostalgic, but it made me feel like the past just seems so much more superficial than I thought. I'd hate to say that though... I do value those memories. I guess it couldn't be helped that the way I felt about everyone was kinda spilled out. It was true though -- for the longest time I was bottling up a lot of frustration and I do have a leadership complex that makes me not want others in charge. I guess I was too scared of being let down to realize that I'm surrounded by capable people. I appreciate everyone of them. I just hope we can all learn to love each other a little better and get through our ordeals here in an orderly manner.

I've been talking to Minh quite a bit. I still don't get why he's chosen not to come back to town yet, but I'm sure he'll return. I don't get how he's not been eaten either, honestly.

I also got to talk with some of the new people finally. I'm glad. I've been so annoyed not being able to introduce myself as leader to the new people, so I'm glad I could finally start taking place properly and make a difference with people.

Routier also got me a fancy looking sword, just like in the RPG's. Huh. It's nice, but I guess the best bet would to be carrying it around as a sign of authority.

I'm getting stronger: I'm starting to understand what exactly has been asked of us here in this world of ours. We're almost halfway there, so there's no saying we can't do this. I need to lay down some law here in town and put some faith in people. After all, I promised to keep going. Right?

4/22/2014

It was a great week, so far, but... It feels like we've lost someone dear to us. A couple of them, actually...
It was strange, waking up that day only to feel like we've forgetten something important to us. If it wasn't, why would all of us feel like a big part of the town is no longer with us? I wish I knew... I was pretty concerned for both Val and Illium, but they're both strong people. I'm sure they can get over it quickly. I still don't know why I built that strange looking cat-tree thing...jeez, it's like something out of Dead Space to think I built it without even knowing... I don't want it to get me down either, but it's pretty hard.

In other news, I news I feel like I need to spend a bit more time out in the pavillion and chat some more. The addition of town laws and the jail has made town much more peaceful for it and I appreciate the down time in between the fighting of Upsets and all. So that's certainly good. I've been hearing a lot of complaints about Tsuzune from Shira. I hope nothing stupid or insane will happen. Also, where the hell did this pond come from next to my house?

4/29/2014

Last week was quite a productive week for me -- a lot of things happened and so very quickly, that my head kinda spun about. For starters, apparently we had our first jail inmate for once, which turned out unsurprisingly to be Tsuzune. Ugh, why do people have to freak out so goddamn much for no reason? Well, at least my frustration is being vented through the others, so I'm glad that's settled. Putting up laws was a great idea -- how simple as a couple of fancy written sentences can put a bunch of people in line.
I also managed to catch up on my engineer work -- thankfully I got that done with. Geez, all the things that flew out of my head...

There was some oddities over the week too -- the biggest of them all being us forgetting important people ... it took us a week to realize it, but in the last couple of days, we realized the return of Komali and Lionel. I feel really bad having forgotten them ... this world really does some cruel things to you sometimes, and that's one of them. I wonder what caused them to disappear from everyone's memories for that time...? It's so odd... I hope it doesn't happen to anyone else in town, because I'd be pretty depressed if I realize I'd forgotten any more...

Then there was also Routier's struggle... it was quite a heavy thing to deal with, but I feel like I'm starting to appreciate her a lot more. She's making good decisions, and I'm pretty glad I chose my words correctly. I really do wish we could be happy with each other -- Shizue, her, and I.... I still hold Shizue to be the closest to me out of everyone, I'm just hoping that after all that, Routier's become a better person and we can go through the next trials safely.

Thanks, everyone, and do your best.

5/5/2014

The days are starting to fly by. I just keep setting things up and hoping I go through with all of it. Honestly, I sometimes wish I had all the time in the world to just...yunno, sit down and play some games by myself. Maybe I'm trying too hard to be something for everyone else? Nah. It's just a side thing that kinda happens with it all... I sometimes regret being in a relationship at all -- or maybe I just got caught up with some people that just seem to frustrate me from time to time. I still love both of them (well, as much as I can for Routier and definitely for Shizue), but it looks like even after their struggles, things don't seem to really get better, in my eyes. Maybe I just don't see it enough for it to matter?

I don't even know.

Outside of my relationship shit, I've just been thinking a bit about Illium. I kinda wish we've had more times to talk to each other since I don't know entirely what kinds of things he talks about with Komali. There's just some things Komali wouldn't understand being just some house cat (or maybe, I just don't know enough about her...) and I can tell by her inability to really respond to Illium's struggle. It's true: I like to see that everyone in this team has something to contribute and that we're all capable of being good people. Regardless of how many lives were taken by him, to be denied the ability to live and to have a guilt thrown against you when you've no control over your own birth is an appalling thought. And I know. Sacrifices happen. After all, where would I be if I hadn't done...that?

It's making me think a lot about myself... Reiko Yuikeida: That one lesbian girl with the glasses who likes playing video games and sacrificed herself into the fire to save a bunch of people. Well, as far as I know, almost everyone...

Yun-Seo is still on my mind these days, I just kinda wish I knew if she got out or not. But... Maybe I'll find out eventually. I don't think I'll be able to live with myself not ever knowing.

5/13/2014

That was really weird. I knew something -- or someone other than Trace was behind the game the whole time, but the thing is, this little revelation only seems to change my view on what we're actually doing here. For starters, what's so special about us in the fact that we must be chosen to play this game? Why is he so fixated on our "ability to do wonderful things"? As far as I know, we're not THAT special of a group of people.

I dunno, it seems kinda odd if you ask me. But it was certainly a lot to take in. It does bring up an important matter: how should we even get Trace in town? No doubt there's something complicated behind it.

Worries aside, I'm glad we've managed to make it so far. We're at 3 out of 8 pieces, so we're almost halfway there... to think we've all gone from complete nobodies to such a strong bunch of people... I'm pretty damn proud of everyone.

5/27/2014

I'm starting to feel a lot better about the way things are going in town. I admit, I might've been taking a lot more breaks now that things have settled down, but with the upcoming invasion, looks like I'll have to enjoy what little down time I actually have.

For starters, getting that game console working was a good start. I'm glad I could set that thing up because I've been itching for some gaming since I got here. It's not the most hi-tech thing since I can only run up to current gen games like CoD, but I can settle with that. I do hope to get it upgraded soon though.

On another note, I'm glad I was able to finally talk Routier out of her whole stupid knight thing. I don't quite get where she got the idea that becoming a knight would fix part of the problem caused by...well, her trying to become a knight. I'm glad it's done with, I appreciate her a lot more for agreeing to leave it. She's actually pretty sweet, and I'm glad that's the case... I guess its time for me to be a lot less sour about my view on some of the things she does because she can be quite cute too.

Well, here's to hoping the best between our cute little triad, yeah?

6/2/2014

Jeez, I've been kept busy this week, but it's been a lot better than before. Yeah, I admit that I'm a lot happier now that Rooty has really settled down, though I'm a little annoyed about the little debacle going own with her and Shira. I don't know what that's about but the last thing I like waking up to is hearing someone got stabbed in the stomach.

In other news, Trace finally moved into town. I'm actually really glad, because now she can probably talk to other people than just me. She really does need to get out and talk with some of us... that might help her with some of her social awkwardness and loneliness.

On another note, I've been just kinda thinking about things, lately. I've had a question linger in my mind since I got here, but there haven't been any clues to what the answer may be. This may be the world's way of just teasing me, but I feel like I need to know... I do need to know...

6/11/2014

It looks like the time is coming soon for us to set off on our voyage once again. I feel like it's been forever since we've been here but we're halfway through all this strife and mayhem that's just been thrown at us. I've been trying to keep some of my encroaching thoughts busy by working a lot more and playing some games. Not to mention it's been really satisfying to help Routier kinda lighten up. She really is quite a sweetie, she~ I do think she still has a lot to learn but I've been trying to help out with her interactions with others and her self-esteem. I hear that she was kinda beating herself up over not being able to be in the room when Hotaru and Averia were helping deliver Komali's baby, but that's really something you can't help. But outside of that, she's really sweet when she understands. I can't help feel a little annoyed that she went off and did something with my potions and Shira, but then again, I'm not gonna ask. Already made a deal with her that she needs to have 5 times the fun with me if she does anything with her. I think she loves me enough for her not to start forming huge love triangles with the maid.

Also, it was pretty damn fun getting Val to play video games. She actually picked up really well, but that's to be expected from someone so seasoned as she is. I kinda wonder if she'll ever show Lionel the ropes of how to play when I'm not around? We could probably get some multiplayer going around and have a shoot out. In game, of course.

Oh, and something happened when I was talking to Travis about helping out with some potions and getting some engineering stuff done. It's kinda weird that guy got carried away, especially knowing who I am and what I'm about... there's something really weird going on, but I hope Shira is keeping him enough company...

Well, time to kickback and see what happens then, huh?

6/17/2014

This is it. We've made progress...
To think that we'd even have to face gods in a place like this -- unbelievable. We're picking up on a lot of things that just, by the day, seem weirder and weirder, but I'm finding sense in some of these inexplicable circumstances.

I was never really a true believer in gods, but it seems so different to think of them as imperfect when people preach so much about the love and perfection that we get from them. I dunno, it's weird.

I still have to enjoy what I have here and the journey isn't going to get any easier. Let's hope that this is the first and last of these people we'll have to fight...