Bey's Diary

Hello again, Diary. [the words trail off and are replaced with a few doodles of smiling flowers]

A LOT has happened since I last wrote in you. Is it still weird that I'm talking to a book? Maybe. I've been doing well. It seems there's no pressure to exceed here. Which is REALLY nice. I still don't want to let anyone down, though... I really hope I don't! I've been feeling a bit down lately. Could be from what happened... but maybe not? I don't want a repeat of my life here.. Just when I finally got free from all that stuff...!

There's been a lot death threats here. Even though we're already dead. Just a few days ago Routier was... about to kill something...? I don't remember. My memory is really foggy. There's this huge blank space and I can't figure out what was supposed to go there. I hope this doesn't happen too much. I don't understand how people can just throw life and death around like it's nothing. I mean, we're DEAD. What's the point...? Death doesn't really get a message across in this place.

Anyway, Tsuzune invited me to sleep in the shrine with her but Shira had already made a duplex. Shira's really interesting... She calls everyone "Master". Well anyway, Tsuzune and I talked a bit about her "goddess". Tsu has some weird religion thing going on. Apparently there's two kinds of light? [a small face with a question mark is drawn here] And that's what her hairstyle represents. Well, what it used to represent. Now she says she has no goddess and her hair is in a pony tail. It looks cute! Though I wonder about that light thing. Guess it now represents one type of light...? I haven't been able to ask her. She's been weird lately.

It seems Tsuzune has some difficulty with power. She drank this potion and went ballistic. Howling til she woke everyone up at the top of the watchtower. We didn't know what it was at first. Everyone thought it was an Upset, or even a new person. This lady is definitely crazy. She drank this potion that changes her form.  Does she always drink potions? She also attacked me! Well, more like pounced, but that still counts!! [an angry face is doodled here] She acts like she's chained down... but she's not. She's free here, though she seems to think other wise. Tsuzune is very confusing..

[a doodle of a vicious looking blood covered rabbit is here, taking up a good portion of the page]

I learned about different kinds of potions as well. Such as the gender swap potion. Travis really surprised me! I had no idea those things existed here. But then again, this place isn't exactly normal. Hmm, wonder what I would turn into if I drank one of those gender swap potions? [an blushing face is doodled here]

Someone new arrived here this week. His name is Odhran, but I call him Oddy. He's real nice! He's going to to teach me how to swim. Shira offered to teach me, too. I can't believe I forgot how to swim! [an exasperated face is doodled here] I'm thinking with both of them helping I'll learn twice as fast! I'd really like to get back in the water. Here's hoping I don't mess swimming up.

Lately I've been sitting by the lake. I've been doing a lot of thinking. I really DO like this place a lot more. I wonder what will happen to us. I also wonder how my parents would act if they knew I slept more here than I did at home, hehe. Actually, I wonder how they're doing right now... Bah, they don't care about me. Failures don't mean squat. I just gotta keep chugging along. I feel like I've gotten stronger. But it's not enough. I have to go farther. Be better. This can't be it. I MUST SUCCEED!

[a giant scribble is drawn at the bottom of the page]

Hey there, Diary. Here's a list of things I've forgotten. In case I forget them. Again. Always good to remember what you forgot! Or something...? [a confused looking snake underlines the word 'something' and meanders down to the bottom of the list. its tongue is sticking out playfully]

-How to write music
-How I used to look (even though it should be the same, just now with fur. My memory's a bit fuzzy there...)
-How to swim

I think I'm starting to forget my parents. Or, at least, their influence. I feel like I've accomplished nothing. Though... wasn't that what I always wanted? To be somewhere where I had no goals. To be free. Like I told Tsuzune... Even after I went and said that... I feel a bit empty. Like I should be doing something. But I don't want to mess up on anything. So I just sit here. And sleep. 


I think it's happening again... 

[it looks like there's words here but a giant scribble has rendered it illegible. the page is ripped in a few spots from pressing too hard] 

Hello again Diary~ It's been a while since I last talked/wrote. A lot has happened, but I forget a lot. Is that bad? Am I somehow forcing myself to forget everything? [5 darkly lined question marks follow the original one]

Here's one thing I do remember. There's this guy. His name is Julian. No.. Woolian? Hoolian? Ulian? Uh.. I forget how to spell his name but he's kinda important (I'll just call him Wing Dude)! [a blushing face with its tongue sticking out is doodled here] Well, I think he is. He has wings! Trace doesn't even have wings. Anyway, he gave off a really relaxing presence. He said he brought us here.. no, that was Trace..? No. Agh, I don't remember! That giant fish thing was smacking me around, it must have hit my head too hard.

Apparently there is no way to get back. Not like I want to get back. I was really relieved to hear that. I'm forever free from my parents! Though I still do wonder how they're doing.. Rgh, no! I don't care. [a frustrated face is doodled here]

On that note, I still haven't done much. I have this itch to cook things and do some handicraft, but I'm too scared to ask for materials. I mean, what if I get them and fail completely in making anything? [a large scribble takes up a few lines] Anyway, I did manage to progress in my gathering. Did you know I can gather longer now? I feel like I could run a marathon and not get winded at all! [a large smiling sun with sunglasses is doodled here]

I also noticed.. when I woke up after meeting Wing Dude I felt more.. grounded? Hmm. I felt like I lost something, but I also gained something. I feel more in touch [a large question mark is here, the next part of the sentence lines the curve of it] with the earth, like I'm closer to being a part of it. Well, I won't look too much into it. It's probably nothing. 

[a large space is left between the text]

Note to self: 
-practice viola
-probably cook something
-WORK ON CRAFTS [an angry face is doodled here, surrounded by exclamation points]
-doodle
-explore more of the town (there was a weird foggy area, but I probably shouldn't walk directly into it)