The After Thoughts of a Doge

How... How is any of this even possible? Am I dreaming or something? No... I made sure that...[Scratched out writing] I don't understand what the hell is really going on, something about protecting this world, but from what? How can it get any worse if we are already dead? How can this get any worse from before when I was alive? Why can't I just... Why can't I just be dead? I don't want to live knowing what I did. I don't want to live knowing that it might happen again. I don't want... [Smeared Writing]... But if we can't die again, then I have no choice but to live through my torture, to live on knowing the act in which I have committed... At least I'm away from him...
This still doesn't make any sense though. I only picked up this weapon a few days ago and I can already wield it as if I've trained for years... Maybe I just have a better ability to pick things up than I think? I should probably get out of this house though... I've slept enough for now, I should get around to talking to all the residents here sometime. I've yet to talk to anyone enough to have any real opinions, though I feel like Komali doesn't like me too much for being a dog... I guess I can work that out with her at some point..? Sirocco seems pretty nice too, though I feel bad for hurting him so badly the other day while training... He's kinda slow, even by my standards. Illium made me this axe, though I can't say if I like him much yet, since I haven't talked to him. I guess we'll see...

My powers have been slowly growing. It feels like I've been doing this forever, yet I don't think I've ever really used a weapon before. It's pretty strange, but I guess I should just stop questioning this world and get over it. I haven't interacted with too many more people, though I got a chance to talk to Routier a tad bit more, and I even got a new shield from her. It seems a little smaller and weaker, but it definitely allows a little more mobility for my attacks and such. I've finally started picking up more skills to use in combat, more than just [Vital Strike] alone. Hopefully these will prove more useful once we reach enemies I can hit without needing to use it. To be honest, this new world is kinda fun... Being strong enough to defend myself, to defend others... It's something I've never felt before, and it's wonderful. I need to train more though before I feel like I can really go out more though. I should probably help gather things one of these days, maybe talk to more of the townsfolk. If I'm going to be here a while, I might as well get to know some of them after all.

I haven't talked to anyone in camp for a while, though I've watched a few of them. It seems like a normal group of people to be honest, outside of, you know, being dead. It sounds like Illium and Komali have even had children, judging by how Komali had taken them out into our last battle in her backpack. It seems a little dangerous to be doing that, but I guess when you know you can't die, that fear kinda goes away. I'm not too sure Illium noticed, so I kinda wonder what he would think. I don't quite know a lot about the two, so I think I'll try talking to them. Averia seems to be a rather level headed person, and quite the skilled mage in combat. It's interesting to see that kind of magic when previously, I would have called someone crazy if they walked into the office saying they could cast huge balls of fire and light magic energy. These monsters are pretty weird too... I don't think I've ever seen anything like these, nor have I ever imagined fighting any. This world has been quite the learning experience, and I kinda enjoy it. Part of me is almost happy to be here, to be alive without any stresses. Of course I say that now, but it could change later. We shall see, I suppose.

Things are finally starting to get a little more interesting around here. I've finally started getting out of the duplex and talking with people. Shizue seems great so far. She's incredibly nice and fun to talk to. It's actually kinda nice getting to talk to another female, though I can't hold anything against the guys since I've only really talked to Johnathon, and he's already a pain in my neck. Kid's gonna get his tongue ripped out at that rate. I might just do it myself if he keeps up the annoying flattery. On another note though, this rifle is actually really nice. I kinda like it more than my old axe that I used to use. It's still kinda surprising how easily I managed to pick this up. I wonder how much I can actually do with this thing. I guess I'll find out eventually. For now, I'm pretty content with what I've got.