Illium's Notebook

Well it's been all of what, a week now? Amy always said it was good to keep track of things some how, so I guess this is no exception, all considering my contracts were easily written down and managed... It's good to be away from that though, the hustle and all...

• Reiko is probably the smallest of pains at the moment. I get she wants to lead this whole thing, but honestly, she just seems like one of those lifeless trash gamers I got paid maybe 250$ a pop... She's doing kinda well though, and I suppose that's all that really matters with how things are right now. She managed to keep us alive during that first attack, although she sleeps a lot more than most of the others. I figure I can tolerate her a lot more than most of the others.
  
• Shizue seems to think we have so much in common, what with the assassination past and all. I could honestly care less though. Not to say she doesn't have her own problems, but I don't see her as much of an assassin if she wasn't even willing. She seems more like a crazed house wife who's just been cooped up way too long and ended up murdering her husband. Of course, that reminds me of the people who would hire me to do the killing, but that's besides the point. I suppose she means well, but I still don't care. 
  
• Val is pretty chill. For a knight of the church, she seems to have a much lighter and playful side. I kinda like it, but then I don't think I could deal with the seriousness. Plus, Mr. Knight and Ymir have been going at each other over her for a few days now. I definitely don't want to step into that shit pile any time soon... Other than that though, I think I'd prefer her as a leader over Reiko, though really I don't care as long as someone's doing the managing and it isn't me unless I'm out in the field.
  
• Komali was rather unexpected. In any sense, I don't think anyone would anticipate falling for a cat, let alone someone who literally used to be a cat. Originally I just found her amusing, figuring she was just a child from the way she acted and talked. How old is she even..? I'll have to ask her some other time, though she looks like she would be in the 16-20 range for sure. With all that's going on, I'm hoping I'll have time to make her something, seeing that cloth from Lionel made me pretty annoyed, though I know he meant no harm by it. It was a little awkward having Shizue and Komali talking about marriage, though I think if everything keeps going as smoothly as it has, maybe it'll be possible... I don't know why I'm so scared though. I guess it's just the Alerian Creed burned into my mind. They can't stop me now though, nothing can. I'm sure Amy would have loved to see this day...
  
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Another week has passed and gone, though nothing too interesting has happened recently... Routier seems to be returning to semi-normal, although I'd still love nothing more than to shoot her on the spot again, not sure how that would bode with the others. Either way, still nothing interesting. I made that farm... It reminds me too much of my previous life, though I can ignore it. I try to get along with the people in the camp, but it just doesn't seem to work out as well as I hope sometimes, not that it really matters to me one way or another. At least I'm neither disliked nor liked in any general sense. Komali is as cheerful as ever, she's slowly learning more and more, which is good I suppose. She just needs to calm down a bit, and learn manners... Not that I'm really one to talk about that though. Oh well...

Another week seems to have been wasted. There have been some new additions to the town though, Travis, Tsuzune, and Sirocco. Travis and Sirocco seem pretty ok, I think I like Travis more to be honest, since Sirocco seems a little attached to the law still. I haven't really gotten a chance to talk to Tsuzune, not that I really care. In my mind, I can see her a bit annoying honestly, though I guess I'd have to actually talk to her to form a real opinion... Probably wont happen soon. Other than that, I've been pretty much dead around camp, checking the watch tower has been the most activity I've really done apart from crafting the hell out of things lately. I've been with Komali a little bit more, though the rain seems to have really freaked her out... I think I got her to overcome most of it, but she's probably still scared. Oh well, time to see what comes next.

This week has been a bit better compared to the last two. We got the Minor Yggsrasil planted, and I have to say, it's a lot larger than I expected. It seems to live in an opposite comparison to it's name though, seeing as it gives us a seemingly vitalizing boost, though it's name derives from such things like terror and the tree in which the Norse god Odin hung himself from... Not that I'm like Larisa or anything with believing in gods. On another note, I also seem to have found a way to grow a Giant Venus Fly Trap... I imagine it would be useful in protecting the town, but I'd probably need to build it close to the outside of the walls, seeing as while they may be tall and large, they can only reach a few yards away from themselves. Travis seems to be pretty interested in farming. I'm hoping his alchemy can also help in growing more varieties of these plants, maybe even some that can shoot projectiles... Like Peas!.. That's stupid, what harm would a Pea Shooter do? Whatever. Anyway, on another note, Komali has taken an interest in a number of things. Apparently she got a dress and then asked me to teach her how to use daggers. I trained her a little bit, though I feel like I may have been a little too rough with her. She is quite the sneaky fighter, though too bad I was an assassin and know her little tricks. Maybe I can teach her more along the line... Until then I suppose.

Well, the snowball fight happened today, and I will admit, it was fun. I may or may not have gained some inkling of joy out of pelting Routier with a few snowball and shoving the snow down her shirt, but that's not really important. Apart from that, the week has been mc better than some of the previous ones. I managed to set up a "Soul Stone" as I like to call it. It does look like a pylon from StarCraft though. Anyway, it seems to emit a rather energizing feeling, maybe something to do with magic, seeing as Averia seemed pretty happy about it. I need to get the ship weapon up and running as well for the mages on the next voyage. Last time the magic was near useless on the voyage. Komali brought up the Wedding again, which reminds me I really need to talk to Ymir about getting some kind of suit, maybe even something I could battle in as well. That would be great now that I think about it... I'll definitely do that then when I get a chance. Other than that, I think that's all for this week that I can remember...

Wow, we actually got it done. The wedding finally happened. I'm sure Komali's happy as hell with that now, since she wanted it to happen so badly this past week, not to mention how happy I am now with this. I'll admit, I think I nearly had a heart attack up there, but I made it out alive. I'm sure Travis got a kick out of it, though I could care less, what matters is that Komali's happy, and I'm happy. It's nice though, given my past an all, I never would have thought I'd be here right now, married and happy finally... I wonder how Amy would have reacted to this all. What I'd give to have her here right now, what I'd give to still have her with me to see how far I've come... Of course, it must've been my fault. Had I not been there, they never would have come for us, for her...
Anyway, that battle last night was pretty damn intense, took quite a beating out there in all honesty. It went by a lot faster than the last one, and Av was laying down some serious nukes on that thing, even though she pissed it off pretty badly. We might wanna be a little more careful with doing stuff like that since it seemed to try to stop us from doing things like that afterwards... We'll figure it out later though. The voyage was a whole other story, repairing the damn ship left and right because of those idiots... And then we fought that Dragon, Av certainly didn't help with the ship's state after that... Although we did get some interesting stuff out of it, and all the things I added did get put to use rather effectively. Whatever.

It's been a while since I've written anything here. Komali's acting pretty strange ever since Reiko went through the whole thing in that area. It has me a little freaked out as well, but Komali seems so off put by it. I hope she snaps out of it, it worries me a little. Not a lot has been going on lately though. I started making some more things for the town, Routier's slack hasn't been letting up much, though I'm hoping that will change soon. The new areas seem more tiring than before, It's a little annoying in all honesty, it means I can't help as much as I used to while gathering, but I suppose I'll survive, I just have to be a little more careful when we're out. I'll probably make an area soon, though I'm not sure when, the whole think with Reiko makes me a bit hesitant, but I might as well get over it.
There's a new girl here too, goes by Bey. She seems pretty nice so far, and taught me how to play the Cello, which I think Komali enjoys a bit now that we both know something a little more similar. I think there's one more new person, but I've yet to meet them, though I'm sure I'll get around to it eventually. Whatever, this weeks still been a bit boring regardless.

The pages have returned, and so has Komali. No words can express how happy I am, and at the same time, saddened by the fact that I had forgotten her for even a second. This world works in rather odd ways... I hope something like this doesn't happen again. Seeing her though, that lifted my world a hundred levels higher. This will definitely put my mind more at ease now, and I'm sure the town is fine now as well.
Something on a completely unrelated note,... What happened to all of those socks? We made a large amount, and they're floating purple socks. I'll have to talk to the others sometime all considering. I'm sure Komali would be entertained for hours on end with one of them, or even myself. Who wouldn't want a floating purple sock? Ok, actually, that sounds retarded as hell, but whatever. I still want to know where the hell they all went, because they definitely can't just disappear like Hotaru... Unless they can, then that would be weird.

That struggle area... What the hell was that? How does this place even work? How can it do stuff like... Like that!? And with Reiko, Komali, and Travis there... I know Komali doesn't look at me much differently, or at least I think, but I can only imagine what Travis and Reiko think after all of that. The pain was relentless, it almost hurt physically, and I just wanted it to stop. I couldn't even hear my own yelling and screaming through that voice, and it just wouldn't stop the entire time. That freak from the past, it brought me some relief to destroy that twisted asshole, but I wish it had really been him. We're past that now though, all the lies, all the pain... I feel like I'm starting to come out of this hole I've dug myself into, but the walls are still there.

Otherwise, I've talked to Komali a little more. I think we understand eachother's point from what she saw at the struggle, though I can't help but feel it's bothering her more than she's letting me know. Maybe I'm just paranoid, though she told me about her past... Truthfully, I don't hold it against her at all, though it's a little... creepy, to put it lightly, though like I said, I wont hold anything from the past against her.

Otherwise, I've gotten to talk to a few people here and there, although I can't say they were real conversations. Routier's being... Well, a bitch. Calling me a coward after NOT fighting. Isn't that what she hated about me, is that I always fought and killed people?

It has been... Quite the week to say the least. I can't help but feel some kind of accomplishment. That boss looked like it was quite the pain, and going in scared the hell out of me, which may have helped a little. I didn't realize I had that kind of power though, it was weird being that strong. I didn't know I could transform like that, but that'll be a hell of a lot more useful later in other battles. It was pretty darn cool though. Today was pretty peaceful, I got to laze about a little more than normal, even spent a little time with Komali. I keep saying I'll spend more with her, but we can see how that's going... I'll keep trying though, regardless. I need to make it up to her at some point... Maybe I could train with her some more again. Maybe we could even go fishing at some point and enjoys a bit of peace and quiet rather than fighting monsters of gathering, which I'm still horrible at. All in good time I suppose. Seeing that Yulian guy dies make me wonder a few things, though I could care less about going back at this point... It'd be pointless to track those assassins, they'd probably just kill me again. It got a better life here, a life I'm sure Amy would have wanted me to have, minus the killing other people and random monsters that decide to show up.

It's been a little while since I've written anything here... Looking back on the beginning entries, I kinda feel like a bit of an idiot, though my views haven't changed much. Not a lot about me has changed much, but I guess I'm ok with that. I don't feel so much the need to change. I guess it would be good socially, but really, is there much a point? I've never cared too much what people think of me, so long as they don't try to get in my way. Hmm... I've got a decent life here though, and it's been the result of some change, though not a lot in my opinion, but then there's people in this town who probably need a good slap to the face, like John. Someone needs to put him down already or something, because last night was idiotic. I hope that stung nice and good, and hopefully he wont be coming back for a while. He asked what I didn't like about him, and I just said it, so I don't see an issue with why he got so defensive all of a sudden. Maybe if he hadn't been such a little shit I would have liked talking to him a bit, though in reality, that was pretty harsh. It's not like I really care though, he should have seen that coming if he already knew I was aggressive and harsh spoken. That's just how I work, and will continue to work. Nothing gets done with a little slap on the wrist and some candy coated words. I've finally spent some time with Komali, it was nice, even if it was with John's help, as much as I hate to admit it. I should really consider spending more time with her, like I've been saying for the entire time we've been together. She doesn't seem too bothered by it, and really, it feels just so much more special when it's a rare occasion that we do spend time with each other. I feel like if it were all the time, it might become dull, or boring even, which isn't what I'd want it to be, nor would I think it actually would be, but keeping any time we do spend together special is nice. It makes me appreciate it that much more.

Komali and I have been talking about a lot lately, mostly about Komali coming around to wanting children. I'd say I was thrilled, but part of me still feels a little cautious about the idea. I'm not sure it's the safest time to be having kids, but then again, like it'll ever be safe here. I'm sure we'll work it out, and I'd probably have Av take care of them while we're out. No way in hell am I leaving them with Tsuzune. That woman has some serious problems with her child obsession. I'd hate to see the town idiot get used just so that woman can have her way and get a few kids out of him. The very notion makes me want to stab something. Whatever. The invasion is coming soon, and I volunteered to go out and help defend the town. I have no idea how that'll turn out though... I'll probably die if anything. Hopefully it's quick and painless though. Those trenches probably aren't the safest things in the world, but I doubt Komali's Sniper Post is any better... I guess we'll just have to see when it comes around.

The babies were finally born. It kinda feels like this bit inside of my has woken up and I feel more alive than ever. They're wonderfully beautiful and sharing this experience with Komali is the best thing that has happened yet in this world. Granted, she keeps taking them with her out on the field, Komali seems to love them just as much as I do. Oliver seems to be the calmer of the two, and I can certainly see Cadence being a handful. I'm sure between the town, and the two of us, they'll grow up to be perfectly fine. I don't like the idea of letting Routier or Tsuzune around them though. I'm afraid they'll catch Routier's stupidity or Tsuzune will try to kidnap them, then I'll have to kill someone. Other than that, I think everyone else is fine. John I probably wont let near them either though... Oh well. I hope Av is still ok with watching them, cause I don't think it's ok for Komali to keep taking them out in her bag. This week has just been crazy I guess, though I'm glad it's basically over now. It makes my life, and Komali's, much easier, especially on her part. I can only imagine how much stress it was for her this whole time. It's just wonderful to finally have this happen...

It's been a pretty slow week all around. I haven't seen too many out and about lately, but really, I haven't been out too much either other than the movie and the other day. I actually got to speak with Odhran again, which was interesting. I haven't seen him around nearly as much as the others. I hardly remembered what his name was when I say him yesterday, I kinda feel bad. Whatever though, I doubt he really cared. I saw Shira for a little bit, but she seems to have stuff to do anyway, so I didn't bother her all considering. I got a ton of people's stuff done this week, along with a good amount of training on my own and with some of the others around camp. It's surprising seeing how strong so many of them have gotten in the past few weeks after that huge battle we had not too long ago. I kinda feel like I'm walking place at this point, but I suppose that might just be me. That movie we watched together was pretty good, though I was pretty bored through out the whole thing. I was never one for the emotional types of stories, though I don't think a lot of people of my type were either. All considering, we never really had to feel emotions. The only thing you should feel when killing someone or something is the resistance. Although I guess I couldn't say I'd do it the same after spending so much time away from that line of work. It's not something I have to do anymore, so it's not a feeling I'm used to so much. Kinda weird how that all works out, huh? I think that's it for now, maybe the town will start getting back into gear soon...